Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
From the mind of Nil at ~nil~...
you remind me of so much. So much that I might have forgotten coping with the cobwebs of city life, of other dreams that I'm chasing after, of broken chains that were meant to be only stronger with time, of myself.
The delicate black and white of your skin holds my tiny finger like one of a baby's and leads me into a moment of my life that was frozen into mere parchement, that frozen moment was perhaps a mere second out of the scroll long years of my life, however that one frozen smile, tear, round eyes, freckle, frown tells and teaches me so much of who I am, what I might become or might have been.
When your skin smiled of warm colors- I could only feel the warmth of the sun again, the sounds of the honks nearby, the scream of the roadside wender, the bark of the angry dog, the whistle of the ticket collcetor... you take me back to yet another day of reality that makes me feel so alive and present again.
You have always had the strength to reduce me to my knees and pray again, pray for what only seemed like yesterday to come back. Pray for those people who've somehow let go or the ones who have held on so tight.. You have had the strength to show me the past as it was, without being biased or emotional.. as ironical as it sounds :)
May you capture me, many more of the sides that prevail and the ones that are hiding in somewhere, waiting for the time to step out.
For you let me make memories,
and that is something that only completes the mosaic of my life with everything right, wrong, perfect and imperfect.
For you are a frozen me, that can never disappear and will live on forever, as simply as one can ever ask for.
Friday, December 24, 2010
"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house."
To My Cousin,
So, your new boyfriend is coming for Christmas Eve this year. Excited to meet him, I’ve already heard so much. Successful surgeon, right? That probably makes him a lot of money- yah, he’ll fit in fine with this family. Do you really like him, or are you just dating him because he’s successful? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I feel so much pressure to date someone that will be accepted by everyone, especially our family. But it’s hard. Everyone I’ve liked, I know they won’t make a lot of money in the future. They’re all education majors, like me, or don’t go to a very good school. And here we are- private jets, tropical vacations, $125/plate at some fancy-schmancy restaurant. I don’t need that stuff, but I need my family. Plus I guess I’m used to a certain lifestyle by now. How will a gym teacher provide for me? Our family would probably just look down on him. I know that sounds shallow, but you know where I’m coming from. As much as I know how love is the most important thing in marriage and relationships, I just know that someone like that would not fit in with our family. And I don’t know if I’m ready for a decreased standard of living. Ohmigosh I sound so spoiled right now. But that’s just how it is with our family. The girls major in something like nursing or education, and marry someone successful. And all the boys are expected to be doctors or lawyers or working on Wall Street. That’s just the way it is. But how can I ever expect to date somebody if I won’t even give them a chance if I know they’re not going to be successful? I feel like such a brat… I just really, really don’t know what to do.
See you later today,
Monday, December 20, 2010
Okay... this is the last one / my favorite. Done with finals! Glad everyone has liked these little blips I've been posting because I was studying. I've decided that since everyone has liked them so much, I will continue to post my favorites via twitter (check the right hand column to get to mine). Remember, I didn't write them, they're from dearblankpleaseblank.com! Thanks for all the comments! Now back to my boring old normal posts, haha ;)
My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
So, it's that time of year again- finals week. Since I am so extremely stressed out / exhausted, instead of posting originals I will be posting my favorite entries from dearblankpleaseblank.com. Enjoy!
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Monday, December 13, 2010
From the mind of Katy at You’ve Given Me the Most Beautiful Set of Wings. …
To the one who broke my heart:
I gave you two years of my life and I gave you too much of my heart. The time I spent with you was amazing, filled with joy and love. You were my first love and my truest best friend. You were my first serious relationship, my high school sweetheart. I thought we would last so much longer, but things happen. Things fall apart. And as hard as we all may try, things do not go according to plan. As we go on, I want you to know that you will always hold a very special place in my heart. That is one thing that will never change. "No matter how much you love someone, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that." I forgive you. And I miss you. But I'm moving on. For good this time.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
"Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends."
To That Guy In The Library,
Ohmigosh. There you are again- I've been seeing you everywhere lately. Maybe you just stick out from everyone else 'cause you're so damn good-looking. You're walking this way. Ack! Ohmigosh, there's an open seat next to me. Ohmigosh, you're walking towards it. OHMIGOSH, YOU SAT THERE. You're sitting next to me! What do I do? Look at you? Smile? Quick glance. I feel like you're looking at me but it might just be the book next to you. The librarian just asked me an absurd question. You turned to me and smiled. Wow do you have a great smile. HOW ARE YOU SO CUTE. Ugh, why can't I say anything? I wish I knew what grade you were in, I don't want to be checking out a freshman... one more quick glance. You're working on sophomore material. One year younger, that's not bad. Look at me. Smile at me. Two hours later... now you're gone. Aw man, I missed my chance...
By the way, my name is Fai.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
"The worst part is, we didn't even have to be together for you to shatter my heart."
Dear Summer Love,
Stalked you on Facebook the other day, hardcore. Big mistake. Her name, her face, her age, I can see it all- it's the girl you're hooking up with. I look on your wall and I see posts from her friends. I look at your pictures and I see you dancing with her on nights out. It's like you're doing it right in front of me. She's really... pretty. And I resent you for it and her and the fact that I still like you yet feel like you will never like me the same way. But then I think, haven't I hooked up with other guys? Liked other guys, even? But I still always remember you, like you, wait for you, in that same little place in the back of my mind; as if I packed my feelings for you in a box and placed them in the attic for safekeeping. Is that how you feel too? Who am I kidding. Guess it's about time I got a reality check and realized there's a reason why they call it "summer love"... silly me, thinking I could make it last all year long.
Monday, December 6, 2010
This writer has chosen to remain anonymous...
To the Edge,
My hat goes off to you, I kinda wanna see you win this fight...
I couldn't imagine losing to any lesser, sorry knife...
4 years now ive been dreading this fight...
come to think of it, for 4 long years i've been in this same plight...
with visions of winning and smashing right through you...
petal to the floor, no seatbelt, no need, it just you and me...
I wanna win but even I can see...
no matter how much speed, I you can't beat sheer concrete...
the funny thing is if I do it we both win...
I have to end this thought before it ends...
Sunday, December 5, 2010
"Things have dropped from me. I have outlived certain desires; I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street."
Yes, I realize I have a paper due tomorrow in your class. I honestly don't think I'll be able to do it though- apathy has officially taken over my body. I am looking down on myself from above. Sprawled out on the couch. Legs propped up. Computer on my lap. Headphones in. Expressionless face. Anyone else seeing this would see a vacant body... not too far from the truth actually. The only parts of my body moving are my eardrums, beating gently to the soft sound of Christmas music passing through my earphones. It is as if apathy is a warm blanket draped over my body, so heavy that it has rendered me immobile. I am thinking, but just barely. About the future, and what will become of it. About the past, and what has brought me to this moment. About how your paper has little weight in either. So, I apologize for not writing this. I have no excuses for why I am not doing it, only lack of reason why I should. No offense.
See you tomorrow. Maybe.