Sent to me by a friend...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Dream by David Solway
I dreamed that you had ceased to love me-
not that you had come from other beds
back to mine, or gone from mine to others,
just that something in your heart had stopped.
I willed myself awake to find you still
beside me. It was just a dream, I thought,
yet when I turned to kiss you, in your eyes
I saw that you had ceased to love me.
I willed myself awake a second time
to find myself alone, as I have been
these many months, but did not know if it
was terror or relief I felt, and whether
dreams unfold the past or make the future
plain. I dreamed that you had ceased to love me,
and know when I see nothing in your eyes
I can't dream myself awake a third time.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
"I worked so hard for that first kiss, and a heart don't forget something like that. Like an old photograph, time can make a feeling fade. But the memory of a first love never fades away."
Dear First Love,
What is it about you, that always keeps me around? I've tried to forget about you. Ignore you. You were a part of my high school life, and I intended to leave you there. But you didn't give up on me. We could be fighting, but you would still text me every day to see how my day went. Even when I did absolutely nothing to stay in contact with you, you still tried. And now it's been almost three years since we graduated from that hell hole. And you still text me. Tell me you miss me. What does your girlfriend think of this? I wonder if she even knows. You still make me say "I love you" before hanging up the phone. And all this used to annoy me but now, I've just grown to accept it. I think there's a little part in both of us that just can't fully let go- that's what happens when you have one person that you share all your firsts with. First kiss, first real boyfriend, first love... it's as if I can feel the strain keeping us together. This string between each of our hearts, that no matter how far we are away from each other, or how much I try to pretend it's not there, really always is there. And I have a feeling it always will be.
"I love you",
Monday, February 21, 2011
"It would be curious to discover who it is to whom one writes in a diary. Possibly to some mysterious personification of one's own identity."
I don't write to you. I mean, I have you. And I write in you. But I don't write to you, have you ever noticed that? I just did today... I never say "my life" or "my brother", I say "our life", "our brother". Does that mean I'm a schizo? Haha, no... I think it's because I'm writing to my future self. The person that will be reading it in years to come. Sad that we'll never meet, Past Me and Future Me. And it's not like one day I'll just switch over. I'll morph into her, little by little, throughout the years, until one day I'm reading that same entry and I'll realize- I am her. Hm. Just a thought...
Talk to you later,