Monday, September 5, 2011

Story Time: The Butterfly

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.

Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.
So have a nice day and struggle a little and teach well.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

To Those With Fame

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

To Those With Fame,

I've heard some of you say something in your interviews, about working hard to make it because you "knew" you would someday. You just had this feeling that you were meant to be known, and that's what fueled your journey. Sometimes, I feel like I have the same energy. I can see myself on stage singing. I truly think I can belt out a tune until I try to, and for a moment the energy is gone. I think I can dance- hell, I do every day in front of the mirror and it doesn't look half bad. But there are others that can actually dance, and I just don't compare. When I hear advertisements for talent agencies on the radio, I have daydreams that I, a girl with zero acting experience or instruction, could just show up at one of these events and instantly be recognized as a big star. They would probably laugh at me in real life... or tell me that I should model? No- I'm too short, too big, I untag myself from too many pictures on Facebook. So why do I feel this way, like I should be known, when I have nothing to offer the world? I have dreams of being on the red carpet, seeing my face on TV, being interviewed, and then have to will myself awake and snap back to reality. Is this a real feelings that I should be acting on, or simply a fantasy that most people have? Maybe I'll never know...

Faith Carter
(I'll practice my autograph just in case.)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Story Time: The Fisherman

Here's a story I liked, just thought I would share it with everyone...

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village.  An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.  “Not very long,” answered the Mexican.  “But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.  The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.  The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”  “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife.  In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs, I have a full life.”  The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!  You should start by fishing longer every day.  You can then sell the extra fish you catch.  With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”  “And after that?” asked the Mexican.  With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.  Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.  You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!  From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”  “How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.  “Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American.  “And after that?”  “Afterwards?  Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing.  “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”  “Millions?  Really?  And after that?” said the Mexican.  “After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”  And the moral is: Know where you’re going in life you may already be there.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dear Home

"I'm headed home
Yeah, but I'm not so sure
That home is a place
You can still get to by train"

Dear Home,

For a while, I was swept up in the moment, and had lost you. I was in another place, feeling as though I had been there my whole life. I had to remind myself I had a home, a family, another group of friends. Eight months I have been gone from all that; eight long months. And now I am back, and it's as if everything was put on pause for my absence. Sure there are small changes- a new haircut, a different picture in the frame. But nothing major. It's nice to know that no matter how much I change, there is always a place I can go to that never will. You are my foundation, my identity. Thank you for keeping me grounded.


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Let It Out Monday

Sent to me by a friend...
The Dream by David Solway

I dreamed that you had ceased to love me-
not that you had come from other beds
back to mine, or gone from mine to others,
just that something in your heart had stopped.

I willed myself awake to find you still
beside me. It was just a dream, I thought,
yet when I turned to kiss you, in your eyes
I saw that you had ceased to love me.

I willed myself awake a second time
to find myself alone, as I have been
these many months, but did not know if it
was terror or relief I felt, and whether

dreams unfold the past or make the future
plain. I dreamed that you had ceased to love me,
and know when I see nothing in your eyes
I can't dream myself awake a third time.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dear First Love

"I worked so hard for that first kiss, and a heart don't forget something like that. Like an old photograph, time can make a feeling fade. But the memory of a first love never fades away."

Dear First Love,

What is it about you, that always keeps me around? I've tried to forget about you. Ignore you. You were a part of my high school life, and I intended to leave you there. But you didn't give up on me. We could be fighting, but you would still text me every day to see how my day went. Even when I did absolutely nothing to stay in contact with you, you still tried. And now it's been almost three years since we graduated from that hell hole. And you still text me. Tell me you miss me. What does your girlfriend think of this? I wonder if she even knows. You still make me say "I love you" before hanging up the phone. And all this used to annoy me but now, I've just grown to accept it. I think there's a little part in both of us that just can't fully let go- that's what happens when you have one person that you share all your firsts with. First kiss, first real boyfriend, first love... it's as if I can feel the strain keeping us together. This string between each of our hearts, that no matter how far we are away from each other, or how much I try to pretend it's not there, really always is there. And I have a feeling it always will be.

"I love you",

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dear Journal

"It would be curious to discover who it is to whom one writes in a diary. Possibly to some mysterious personification of one's own identity."
Dear Journal,

I don't write to you. I mean, I have you. And I write in you. But I don't write to you, have you ever noticed that? I just did today... I never say "my life" or "my brother", I say "our life", "our brother". Does that mean I'm a schizo? Haha, no... I think it's because I'm writing to my future self. The person that will be reading it in years to come. Sad that we'll never meet, Past Me and Future Me. And it's not like one day I'll just switch over. I'll morph into her, little by little, throughout the years, until one day I'm reading that same entry and I'll realize- I am her. Hm. Just a thought...

Talk to you later,
Present Fai

Dear Followers

I am a mess and need my bloggers! So sorry I have forgotten about you with all this study abroad hype. Forgive me? ^_^

Love you all,
And I'll be sure to write soon!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dear Hot Stuff

"The love-bite, it is the beginning. You will be irresistible."

Dear Hot Stuff,

Wow. I've always thought you were something, but now that you and your girlfriend have broken up I think I can finally say it- You. Are so. Hot. We like all the same things, and let's face it- we look perfect standing next to one another. And did I mention that you're hot? And now you've gone into full-on flirt mode since the breakup and I just can't stay away. I find you completely irresistible. Why do I have to be leaving to study abroad now? The definition of bad timing- seriously. At least we have the whole summer to spend together. Like you said, "Neither of us have ties now, so watch out when we meet- you never know what could happen..."

Still completely taken away, 

Monday, January 10, 2011

Let It Out Monday

From the mind of Hassan at Palabras de la Tortuga...

If you read this please read ALL of this!!!


I don't tell you what I'm feeling to make you feel my pain. I tell you because unlike you I'm not afraid to speak to you and tell you what's on my mind. It fucks with me how the very sight of you can fuck with my mind. You shouldn't matter to me anymore. I shouldn't give a fuck about you or anything that you are doing. I think about you and every time I do it makes me feel weak. The thought of you makes me pause in silence. I can't believe this bullshit. I'm mad at myself for giving a shit about someone who made there feelings clear. I mean you didn't really. After everything between us all i got was "I don't think about it."

Guess it's that easy, I'm that easily put out of peoples minds. You included...

I tell you that I miss you because I deeply and truly fucking miss you.

I have a list of other problems that need attention. I feel like all I'm doing in life is making my way through it. No true direction. I should be doing and focusing on that but I can't cuz I'm too busy thinking of someone who isn't thinking of me. I know my problem not yours...

I know that if I don't focus on my dreams no one will. I feel like I tell people whatever sounds good. Just to make them not worry.

I'd be lying to myself if I said I'm not hurting. I'd be lyin if I said that I don't miss feeling like my life was somewhat normal. I'd be lying if the following thoughts never crossed my mind:

I wish I never gave you my number. I wish I never wanted to hang out with you. I wish I never went to the westin with you. I wish I never took that picture of you that day. I wish I never saw pineapple express. I wish I never took you out on a date that Saturday night. I wish I never took that chance to be with even after your warning. I wish I never decided to to try and be with you. I wish I never fell so deep in love with someone I can never have. I wish I never introduced you to my family. I wish I never introduced you to my friends. I wish I never included you in my life. I wish I never tried so fucking hard to be apart of your life. I wish I never wanted to be apart of your life. I wish I never made love to you. I wish I never made you smile. I wish I never touched your face. I wish I never touched you. I wish I never knew you. I wish I never went to AIU and met you in the first place. I wish I never did any of the things I did for you. I wish I never played the music you liked in my car. I wish I never bought you that locket. I wish I never bought you Asher the day I picked you up from the hospital. I wish we never wrote in that damn book! I wish I never danced with you. I wish we never made memories together. I wish I never created 34-29. I wish I never held you as you threw up from drinking too much on Julianne's bathroom floor. I wish I never let you teach me Spanish. I wish I never fucking met you!

Yes I said it! You treat me like just another stranger! I don't care how much you hurt, I hurt too damnit. I dont care if it hurts you to look me in the eyes. I don't care if you feel guilty everytime you look at me. I don't care if you think it's your fault I hurt. I don't care if you felt like you could have prevented it! You didn't because you wanted it too. You wanted this to last too! Right? Then why?! Why can't you go after what you fucking want and attain it? You always said if you want it you go get it, you don't wait around for someone to give it to you. Well I've been here, and not once have I seen you try to make contact with me. So this leads me to believe you don't want me, and for what it's worth you didn't really want me. That maybe you jut wanted attention from a guy becuase your then boyfriend was across the country and never made an attempt to actually be with you. Yes i fucking said it!

Yes I'll admit that you probably did love me, or atleast were infatuated with me but you weren't ever in love. No I think not. I will admit you not falling was my fault. I have problems like everyone else, but not so far as to make another believe that I love them when I don't.

I just want to fucking forget about that whole situation. I wish I could just magically not think about it. I wish I really could, but every fucking night I look at my phone and sometimes I forget why I'm looking at my phone but I always remember the feeling that should have been there. I don't hate you, you don't deserve that much respect in my heart. No what I feel for you is pity.

Yes pity! Not disappointment, malice, anger, sadness, or even rejection. No just pity, I'm a man with his share of problems, shit I'm seeing a gotdamn psychiatrist. My home is broken, I barely get by financially, my grades aren't that great, I still live at home, I'm single and miserable, and to top it all off I'm still stuck on my ex girl friend ;).

So yes I pity you...but at the same time I miss the hell out of you...and all I ask for is a phone call, a text message, fb chat, something...if your heart has guilt why don't you try to make a mends through loose don't want friendship perhaps? No I think you just don't have the guts to face me and own up to your mistake...yeah your mistake, and when I say mistake I mean me...your mistake is me, I should have never happened...

I'm sorry to have been such a blemish to your honor, past and memory...and there is no sarcasm behind these words...just frustration, not with you but with myself for not realizing this sooner...

Hearts don't break evenly...


Sunday, January 9, 2011

Dear Brother

"It was nice growing up with someone like you- someone to lean on, someone to count on... someone to tell on!"

Dear Brother,

You are the quintessential younger brother. You wake me up in the morning by pouring cold water on my face. You hide the remote control so I can't change the channel on TV. You steal my phone and text guys things like "Thinking about you" and "I want you so bad". You eat all the popcorn in the bowl before I can get any. You slip ice down the back of my shirt when I'm not looking, and take embarrassing pictures of me while I'm sleeping and post them on the internet.

You also look to me for advice. Call me up when you're nervous about something. Confide in me. Text me things like "Miss you already" an hour after you drop me off at school. Accompany me on anything from shopping trips to road trips to "prank the neighbors" trips. Record my favorite show when you know I won't be home. Defend me when people talk bad about me behind my back, and are content with staying at home with me watching movie marathons for the entire day.

I could say you're my best friend, but you're more than that- you're my brother. And that will always be forever.

Love you,

To My Little Sister's Boyfriend

"When do you stop being a kid and start becoming an adult?"

To My Little Sister's Boyfriend,

Ew. Please stop touching her. In my mind the farthest you two have gotten is holding hands- if I see you kiss I might throw up. No, I don't care if you're sixteen years old. She's the baby of the family, she has no business acting all grown up. Now you have your arm around her in front of our DAD? Have you lost your mind?! Great, you made him leave the room, nice going. Think I'm going to leave too, now I just feel like I'm intruding... please leave soon so I can be in my own house again without feeling completely nauseated.

... seriously though.
Faith, The Older Sister. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Dear Baggy Sweatpants

"Wouldn't life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy?"

Dear Baggy Sweatpants,

You're awesome. Possibly my favorite type of attire ever, if you don't count boyfriend hoodies. Sadly, though, I recently found out that it is not very acceptable to wear you in Spain. As you know, I will be spending the next five months of my life there, so this poses a serious problem. What will I do without you? You're not confining, like jeans. You always fit me just right. I mean, no one's ever worried about not fitting into their "high school sweatpants", right? God knows you're the only one I want around when I'm sick. When I'm having a bad day, I snuggle up with you on my couch and watch TV. And every night, I fall asleep with you. We have bonded far too much to be separated for this amount of time. Please write.

Miss you already,

Thursday, January 6, 2011

To The Airport

"There's nothing half so pleasant as coming home again."

To The Airport,

You know, I was going to write a letter, complaining about my most recent visit to you. Complaining about how I had booked a connecting flight, but you canceled the second half of it, leaving me stranded on the other side of the country. Complaining about how I had to spend an hour and a half on hold just to rebook it. About how I waited another four hours just to check-in for that new flight, and about how when I went to go check-in, I found out you had booked me for one a full day later than I had asked. And then, to top it all off, I had to rebook again to a different airport, where my car was not, rent a car and drive three hours to go get it, just to drive another two hours home. Basically, to complain about how all I wanted to do was go home, but I was stuck with you, because of your incompetence. But now I am home, and I guess I just really don't care how long it took me to get here. It feels good to be back, thank you for making it possible.

Faith Carter