Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dear First Love

"I worked so hard for that first kiss, and a heart don't forget something like that. Like an old photograph, time can make a feeling fade. But the memory of a first love never fades away."

Dear First Love,

What is it about you, that always keeps me around? I've tried to forget about you. Ignore you. You were a part of my high school life, and I intended to leave you there. But you didn't give up on me. We could be fighting, but you would still text me every day to see how my day went. Even when I did absolutely nothing to stay in contact with you, you still tried. And now it's been almost three years since we graduated from that hell hole. And you still text me. Tell me you miss me. What does your girlfriend think of this? I wonder if she even knows. You still make me say "I love you" before hanging up the phone. And all this used to annoy me but now, I've just grown to accept it. I think there's a little part in both of us that just can't fully let go- that's what happens when you have one person that you share all your firsts with. First kiss, first real boyfriend, first love... it's as if I can feel the strain keeping us together. This string between each of our hearts, that no matter how far we are away from each other, or how much I try to pretend it's not there, really always is there. And I have a feeling it always will be.

"I love you",


  1. Wow. I think that part of us will always (at least... many people) love our first loves to a degree. I know that if I didn't love my boyfriend more and that if something were to happen to us I would seek him out again. Even though he was toxic at one point, he wrote me a few years ago and told me he was sorry for everything bad he did to me (not abusive but emotionally tormenting) and that he really cared for me still and wanted rebuild things, have me move in with him. Too little too late. While my feelings for him are teeny tiny, if I were alone and he was still in my life, I would have a hard time.

    What a powerful post. Thanks for sharing.

  2. The blog is very good!

  3. First love never die... ehehhehe... alam mo ba na hangang ngayon... love ko parin ang first love ko....

  4. Seriously? This dude has a girlfriend and "makes" you say I love you after you talk on the phone?


    I would rather fellate a dirty Somali pirate than talk to my first girlfriend regularly on the phone. And you KNOW those pirates aren't showering regularly.


    PS Read my new post right now! Wait, that was bossy. Rephrase: I think you would like my new post. Wait, better one: Dear Faith, please read my blog. There we go. You like letters, right? ;)


  5. My first love got married then called me when they separated. I tried to keep his mind off of what we had, not have. He finally stopped calling because he knew it wasn't good for either of us. And I had already met someone else. He'll always be in my heart but the timing was off and we won't get it back.

  6. Ugh first loves are the toughest. You romanticize what you had and forget about why you're not together. At least in my experience. *sigh* this brought back so many memories.

  7. Love reading your posts,very interesting and I also love your blog. I'm your new follower and please visit my blog,do leave a comment. I really appreciate if you can follow me back. Thanks and have a nice day. :)

  8. Aww, how sweet. I agree that some part of us always feels something for first loves-pretty normal, I would say. Love the Tim Mcgraw reference up there- that is my favorite song;-)

  9. that's what happens when you have one person that you share all your firsts with.

    You have no idea how much that line made my heart ache. Its been two years since me and he graduated from college, and since we broke up... and still we are still in touch. This post brought back so many memories...

    First time here, and this post has made me your fan! :)


  10. omg love your blog. It's my new favorite. Thanks for sharing love.

    I'm following, I hope you'll follow back. :)

  11. I am in love with you and your blog. AWESOME stuff, man!

  12. this is so intense


  13. I just love this piece...I can relate to so much of it! Love your writing and lovely blog!

    Liesl :)

  14. I think everyone will always have something for that first love. It's by far the most significant, and something about allowing yourself to a vulnerability with someone for the first time makes it impossible to ever truly get over. Very powerful letter, and I'm sure ever girl will agree with you on it.

  15. Brings back memories i have tried so hard to supress. Lovely blog you've got.

  16. Beautifully said. I just lost my first love exactly one month ago. I'll be 23 tomorrow. I feel blessed I did have him in my life. Our story was like a fairy tale. But when it came down to it we weren't compatible. Hope all of you ladies find love again. True love because its beautiful when its right. :}


  17. I think there's a little part in both of us that just can't fully let go- that's what happens when you have one person that you share all your firsts with. First kiss, first real boyfriend, first love... !!!
    Simple super duper AWESOME!!:)
    I'm following ya!! :)